Of course, the final flight is by far…the worst. But at least, it’s the last one. I keep expecting to get a call from HQ telling me they’ve figured out how I can pick up the states I missed (on account of blizzards and illness), and I’ll have to extend my trip a day or two. OK, I’m just paranoid. This is it (I’ll be traveling home in my street clothes, so I don’t count that flight). And, if there is any Good left in the world, I will never see the Santa suit again. So, the last and worst flight. Why the worst? Well, children had something to do with that, as you’ll see when you click “more”.

So, I’m heading from Seattle to LA. It’s the longest flight of the trip, the Alaskan Airlines plane is packed, and I am stuck in the back…surrounded by children.

Look, I have nothing against your kids. I’m sure they’re great, but one of the flight attendants on this flight had a brilliant idea: you see, there were three 12-year old boys traveling alone, who met while pre-boarding, and wanted to sit together. The flight attendant agreed and asked people to move, give up their seats, whatever, until she got these fine young gentlemen in the same row.

12-Year Old Boys! Clearly, our flight attendant has never met a 12-year old boy. Speaking as someone who was one once, I think I have a pretty good grasp on this. Why on Earth would you ever think that was a good idea? “Oh, let’s keep the little scamps together. Won’t it be ever so much fun for them.”

And wouldn’t you know it, they’re sitting right in front of me. On the last leg of a long, long trip. A “12-day-40+states-I-might-just-up-and-snap” trip. Not surprisingly, the last hour consisted of them throwing things, punching each other, trying to break their chairs, and swearing like sailors. Wow. Well played Alaskan Airlines fligtht attendant. Well played. Oh, and I noticed once you set this whole thing up, you made your way up front, and never came back.

Should I say something? Yes. But you know what? I’m just too tired. And the rest of the people around me seem to have that “boys will be boys” look on their faces. Last flight, baby! Let the children destroy each other. Let Chaos reign supreme! Los Angeles, here we come!!!!

–GS, flying over the Brink of Madness