Traveling the country on a marathon trip like I’ve just finished is a real eye-opener. I’ve learned a few things. No, nothing like “why is the sky blue” or even, “who really wants to receive a fruitcake as a Christmas gift”. No, what I’ve learned is…well, it has to do with what people are really like, and, CSI: Miami. I’ve got a whole list of things like that; check out my Top 10 by clicking “more.”

Grumpy Santa’s Top 10 “Things I’ve Learned”

1. I can’t understand what people from New Hampshire are saying. Note to self: next time, include New Englander in entourage. Next time, have entourage
2. Taking more than 4-flights a day is an utterly miserable experience. Don’t do it.
3. Taking 4+ flights a day is a miserable experience. Don’t do it.
4. No matter where you are or what time it is, when you get to your hotel, CSI: Miami will be on.
5. Useful tip: Airline gate agents and ticket-counter agents will often tell you very different things.
6. There are more nice people out there than I thought. I was under the impression that most people were jerks. I stand corrected.
7. Despite popular belief, attractive women will talk to men on planes wearing Santa suits. Actually, they seem to be eager to talk. They also think “Travel Writer” is impressive job. Play along.
8. Headphones are your only true friend in this world.
9. Medical care in Billings, Montana is top-notch.
10. Always charge your batteries. You don’t have to shave everyday. You don’t have to shower. You must however, charge those batteries.