FareCompare’s Elf has this handy little gadget called the Knee Defender; use it correctly, and the guy in front of you can’t lower his seat, which means his seat won’t crash into your knees.

Elf gave it a whirl, and by golly, it worked! Only problem is, that was Grumpy Santa seated in front of him, and he was not amused. Neither was the flight attendant.

Better take a look at the video, by clicking “more.”

Of course, the final flight is by far…the worst.

But at least, it’s the last one. I keep expecting to get a call from HQ telling me they’ve figured out how I can pick up the states I missed (on account of blizzards and illness), and I’ll have to extend my trip a day or two.

OK, I’m just paranoid. This is it (I’ll be traveling home in my street clothes, so I don’t count that flight). And, if there is any Good left in the world, I will never see the Santa suit again.

So, the last and worst flight. Why the worst? Well, children had something to do with that, as you’ll see when you click “more”.

For all the hipsters in NY and LA who say the Midwest is “flyover” country, I say, fie! It is the land of cookies like your mother used to make.

Watch me eat them. And later in the video, watch me tell you about my adventures with hand lotion!

All coming up next…just as soon as you click “more”.

Hey, I had some fun with a flight attendant who commandeered my Santa suit (poor woman…it’s been a loooong time between dry-cleanings).

And then we met a special guest on the plane.

A U.S. soldier, coming home…after being away a year-and-a-half.

Listen to him talk about his 3-year old daughter, by clicking “more”…

It was a rare lull in Grumpy Santa’s 48-state marathon (flyathon?); there he was, sitting around in Manchester, New Hampshire, when he got a delightful surprise: a flight attendant sang for him. And sang beautifully (see and hear for yourself)!

We’re not surprised that Southwest’s Deborah is a professional singer (here’s her website).

We only wish Grumpy Santa could have granted her Christmas wish … a wish ALL flight attendants could appreciate.

Grumpy Santa wants pie. But he settles for a beer.

No, this isn’t exactly your typical image of Santa, but then this one’s been on the road for quite awhile. And has miles to go!

In total, about 25,000-miles!

So, go ahead, Santa. This Bud’s for you.

And for the rest of us? More video…so stay tuned.

The second leg of our trip took us back to Texas. We’re in Houston for an hour or two, and we will be back to Houston tonight. That famous Houston humidity is some how leaking into the airport, but other than that, everything is going well. Had a great time on the flight in from Little Rock.

The Southwest Airlines crew couldn’t have been better. I got to hand out peanuts, they gave me souvenirs, and gave us a pep talk about taking multiple flights in a single day (they often do 7, so they feel our pain).

They did, however, demand that Grumpy Santa fatten up, so airline pillows were put to use. (note: you do not want to use those pillows — click more for very raw video — cutting it tonight –)

Is Grumpy Santa actually smiling?Yes, indeed! He’s playing “little helper” to Southwest Flight attendants, by handing out souvenir coloring books.

Unfortunately, as you’ll see, there weren’t too many kiddies on this flight, but several adults were happy to snatch these up!

Stayed tuned…more video is on its way!

The FareCompare Grumpy Santa tour is off and running. I had to say goodbye to a trusted friend before we even left on our first flight. My good old Santa boots weren’t up for the trek.

They fit, but they had sprained ankle written all over them, and they left weird black marks on my socks, so Grumpy Santa has donned his old school Reeboks for the duration.

We made our first flight from Dallas to Little Rock, AK Arkansas. Little Rock is currently shrouded in fog, and that made for a very interesting/slightly terrifying landing. Looks like the fog is going to clear, so we should be able to head back to Texas and land in Houston before heading out to Jackson, Mississippi.