As I said, that final flight was rough. We were delayed. We got stuck on the tarmac at LAX. When we finally got off the plane, we had to take 3-shuttles, and got kicked out of a cab, and…ah, who cares? We made it to LA. And I am coming home.

Oh, wait…that means I have to get on one more plane…

–GS

Grumpy Scale: 0

What’s on Grumpy Santa’s iTunes? Nothing. The suit is gone. Grumpy Santa is no more. I, however, am listening to Led Zeppelin 4 again. No better way to end a journey.

I remember when Sundays were the “calm before the storm”, the fall-asleep-on-the-couch time, or as the Bangles say, “My fun day, my I-don’t-have-to-run day.”

But for me, Sunday was 6-flights to places that were ridiculously cold. Pioneer cold (”your-wagon-train-broke-down-in-the-snow-and-there’s-no-food-or-firewood” kind of cold).

That alone sent me into a grumpy downward spiral. But now, the flipping icing on the cake. I am left to carry on…alone!!! Keep reading….

I think Milwaukee might be my new favorite city in the country. The Milwaukee airport shut down (snow storm) long enough to miss our flights to Des Moines–Denver–Wichita. So, we threw in the towel and decided to stay put.

Best decision ever.

I got to the hotel around 6:30pm. Early for us! And, I was in a suite, so I could recline on the couch and watch TV (closest thing to home since I’ve been on the road) I had the best dinner of the entire trip (so far).. Then I slept for nine hours.

Read about meeting Laverne & Shirley and Brett Favre…by clicking “more”.

Day 7 started out right. I got to sleep in a little (usually been waking up between 4:00 and 5:00am), and then I got to run around NYC.

I’ll admit, I’ve never been in love with New York, but it was great. The people there aren’t at all surprised to see a scraggly dude in a Santa suit wandering around the streets. I was not the biggest weirdo around, that’s for sure.

Then on to the Today show…where in the world is Matt Lauer???? Find out…

Grumpy Santa was in New York City, craning his neck like a rube, looking at all the tall buildings, when he stopped for a bite to eat.

At the Waldorf-Astoria. Lovely. Then he saw the prices.

Here is a classic rant. Enjoy!

“The plane landed? Are you serious? The plane flipping landed? Arghhh. Here’s the story:

We knew when we would be racing the weather when we woke up on Day 6—I think that was Wednesday or Thursday—the days of the week mean nothing to me now (Editor’s note: it was Thurs). It was cold, and the weather channel was all about ice and snow.

Okay, we made it to JFK, then Logan, and then the snow came.

Snow like I haven’t seen in many, many years. Meanwhile, we had flights canceled on us. So be it. All we knew was, we had to get to NYC; we had video shoots planned and we had a FedEX shipment with clothes and coats coming! Would we get there??!!

Day 5 was a breeze. We only had 3-flights and not one of them was over an hour. The last one was only 20-minutes long, the shortest flight yet (JFK to Hartford).

Earlier, spent some time at the airport in Burlington, VT. Lovely. Only wish I had a chance to actually see how pretty the state was.

Meanwhile, we were delayed leaving Burlington on our way to JFK, and I could tell the slew of NY hipsters on the plane were afraid they were going to be late for their irony party in DUMBO or their appointment to artfully mess up their hair.

Ready? I’m about to tell you what makes Santa SICK!!!

Just when Grumpy Santa was getting in a pretty good mood, things turned sour.

No, not the trip-that’s going pretty well! The problem? His old pal, Elf.

It seems Grumpy Santa finally noticed that Elf seems to be starring in some of our videos; and while Santa’s on a grueling 25,000-mile trip, lugging heavy gear and racing from terminal to terminal, Elf is…well, he’s not lifting a finger.

Oh, does Santa rant this time.

I did most of my ranting in my “Delay Post,” so I’m going to lay off the daily rant and keep this one positive.So, I missed the Providence flight.

But I swear to the good people of Rhode Island, if it’s the only state I have missed as this thing starts to come to an end, I will make it there.

I know for a fact the folks back at home are already concocting mad schemes to make it happen. After the Providence delay I ran into some problems with US Airways.

Since I missed that flight, I missed the first leg (out of Providence back to Philadelphia) of a two-leg journey (I’m flying on from Philadelphia to Burlington, VT).

Once you miss the first leg of a trip, you’re automatically canceled for the following leg.

This is not looking good…and it only got worse….

There are moments when you simply step back and say to yourself, “This isn’t really happening. This can’t be real life.”

Last night, I had such a moment. Here’s what happened:

Our flight from New Hampshire to Philadelphia was delayed for well over two hours

The plane was there, the crew was ready, but weather in Philly was holding things up. We had a great time with the Southwest crew during the delay, but we (along with FareCompare HQ) were monitoring the US Airways flight I was supposed to catch from Philadelphia to Providence, Rhode Island (PVD).

Would Rhode Island become my…Waterloo???

I have to admit when I woke up yesterday I was dreading the seven flights we had lined up.

I was exhausted, pretty miserable, and under the impression that taking seven flights in a single day was physically impossible. Things looked bad early, but when we landed in St. Louis, we were greeted by a FareCompare angel named Mary.

She flew out from Dallas just to meet us, bringing real food for lunch, some fresh clothes, and delicious Ghiradelli chocolate (you can make that check payable to “cash,” Ghiradelli).

Mary’s visit really brightened things up as I headed out on the remaining flights. It turns out if all seven flights are only about an hour each, so, it’s not really that bad. I can’t believe I just said that.

Then, things took a turn for the worse….

Not the charger per se, but it’s hard-shelled emotionless case. This unthinking, uncaring, unmoving hunk of reinforced plastic has brought such added strain into my life that this morning when I woke up I actually thought about hurling it out the hotel window. Then I realized the window was one of those motel jobs that doesn’t open.

Oh, how I hated this thing. So what DID I do???

Just to keep you updated: Day 2 started out wonderfully. I got a quick lesson on flying with one of the pilots on my Southwest flight, and everything was looking up.

Then, we made the switch to AirTran, and everything seemed to go downhill from there.

It’s not AirTran’s fault really, but they did put us on the narrowest, most cramped plane I’ve been on.

After a few AirTran flights and two on US Air, I arrived in the magical land of Orlando, and all hell broke loose. Word of advice …

We made it to Houston, and today went well, but let’s get down to brass tacks. Running around in a Santa suit from plane to plane is a sweaty business.

I feel like a high school wrestler who’s trying to “make weight.” Also, on the last flight of the night I sat in the front row on Southwest and there was no tray table. Not even one that folded out of the arm rest or anything. On top of that, these bags are heavy.

I mean, they would be heavy even for someone who wasn’t surprisingly weak such as myself. Oh, and there’s a party going on in the room next to me …